Leave Kwame Alone

Leave Kwame Alone

I guess spending time away from Ya’ll Know Better, writing books about homicidal yet love struck African generals and hopelessly romantic but hapless hoteliers has left me without much comment regarding current events.

I had to cut my sabbatical short, however, to comment on something that appears to be madness playing out in the Midwest.

Someone special and I were discussing the Kwame Kilpatrick silliness recently.

I am a Chicagoan. She is a Michigan native, currently residing near Detroit. Sadly, being a Chicagoan, I expect my politicians colorful and corrupt. You just learn, when you are from the Windy City, to assume, as one (convicted, of course) alderman put it, that “politicians are hoes.”

I think she said that on an FBI wire.

I digress.

Kilpatrick is the former mayor of Detroit. A city where there was no such thing as political corruption and throwing one’s weight around until he came on the scene.

Detroiters were mad as hell about Kilpatrick and their county prosecutor charged him with perjury, misconduct in office and obstruction of justice. Then they made him pay back a bunch of money his investigation cost the city. Again, was it not for our man Kwame, there would never have been a corruption trial in the D. It cost so much because prosecutors absolutely had no experience going after a corrupt politician.

Anyway, the Kilpatrick story to me was just so much, well, non news. Boy wonder mayor gets caught lying in court and as a result a bunch of text messages come out proving he is a lying, scheming philanderer trying to live large on the public dime.

I mean, gee, he is a politician. Isn’t that “lying, scheming philandering politician” redundant? What did ya’ll (everyone outside of Chicago, and maybe New Orleans) expect? Had he been here, he’d either be well on his way to a brighter political future, or an FBI informant ratting out folk to keep his own corruption safe from examination.

You bounced the man out of office. You took his law license. You humiliated his family. What could be next?

Newsflash: the former mayor has been returned to prison for violating his probation. You see, he was supposed to make restitution payments and he lapsed, so they are going to put him in the joint to show him how important it is to pay a broke city back on time. Think of it: Kwame holding up on his restitution is the sole reason the Detroit school system is bankrupt today.

OK, perhaps it’s a Chicago thing. I am reading the Kilpatrick mess, and I am looking for murder, assault, hey, even a weapons charge.

The stuff that gets most urban probationers violated back to the big house.

Is Chicago THAT corrupt?

I mean, I’m not sure politicians here even get cited for stuff like that.

Kwame lied.

Politician.

Misconduct in office? Oh wow. Isn’t hat privilege one of the spoils of winning elections?

Politician.

Obstruction of justice. That’s the state version of “mail fraud”, you know, that one federal charge a prosecutor knows he can get to stick because it’s so broad and sweeping?
Wow.

Politician.

I mean, I’m a bit ashamed to call Detroit a city. Ya’ll indict someone on that? Then get a conviction? Where are the Motor City versions of Sam Adam and Ed Jensen?

Kwame admitted he was wrong, copped a plea, did his time and fled with his family to another state, where political hook ups assured him a good job and provided his family with a home and whatnot. Don’t get me wrong: I wish more young brothas convicted for crimes committed on 79th Street in Chicago got that type of fresh start. Recidivism would stop dead in its tracks. In fairness, though, Kilpatrick is an educated individual from a political family, and as those of us from Chicago are well aware, we are our brothers’ keepers. Or, to paraphrase Mike Royko, our brothers in law, our cousins, our nephews…

I won’t even stoop to making this a racial thing. Well, not yet. What connected person leaves jail and is homeless? Or truly broke? I mean, isn’t that the big difference between the haves and we have nots?

I have zero political juice, but the few times I have benefited from who I know were enough to keep me from being a hypocrite. It can’t be okay for me to benefit from a hook up and others cannot, simply because their hook ups are better than mine. People were angry that after coming out of jail, Kwame Kilpatrick emerged to a new job in a new place, with money donated to help him and his family get back on the right track. Let’s remember, this doesn’t just affect Mr. Kilpatrick. It affects his wife and children as well. I’m a bit curious as to why they should have to suffer. Just because you are a corrupt mayor and lousy husband at one time, does that mean you were a bad dad? Or provider? L

The current issue appears to be that good ol’ Kwame has not been making restitution payments. Money donated to his family has gone elsewhere. Bad? Yeah. Punishable by up to 5 years? Why? Where is the justice in that? How do the people of Detroit benefit?

Apparently, Kwame was working his new job, owing the Motor City money while living in a nice home, driving nice cars, and spending money giving his family a comfortable life. According to one judge, Kilpatrick found it more important to “to pacify your wife" than follow court orders.” This was in response to Kilpatrick having used some of the money donated to his family to pay for elective surgery for his Mrs.

Hmmm. I remember a former Arkansas governor who was found to have committed perjury and cost the government a whole bunch of money when it investigated him, all of this related to some sexual stuff with women who were not his wife. He lost his law license for five years, had to endure a whole lot of ridicule, and basically gave his wife a US Senate seat to mollify her.

I guess that’s OK. Some woman gives you three kids and you humiliate her by being involved with your married chief of staff, plus you blow a great political opportunity. No, I can’t see how in the world you’d feel obligated to give her something that makes her feel better. Especially after she stuck by your sorry ass.

Forgive me.

Let’s see. The best way to get a man to pay restitution is to lock him up, thus getting him fired from his job. I have been in courtrooms where the only thing that kept guys out of jail was that they had jobs. By the way, these were hardened criminals.

Now that I think about it, I see hardened criminals who are real menaces to society get more chances to get their act together than this guy. Sure, he owes the city of Detroit money. That is bad. Somehow, though, I have a feeling Wayne County judges are cutting more slack to Moey and Man Man, multiple offenders they are, than to one tacky suit wearing former mayor.

The logic of the prosecution? Mr. Kilpatrick was trying to hide the money he received to keep from paying the city back.

OK.

If Kilpatrick was trying to hide, he would have done a better job of it.

Follow me here: I am not an attorney, I have no powerful friends, but I know enough about the law to know that if I am really trying to hide some assets, especially if they are donated, then I can have them put in trust. Trust me, some of your favorite “public servants” have their real estate and most of their assets put in untouchable, quite legal shelters to safeguard them from things such as this. Former mayor Richard J. Daley comes to mind, and he was doing this forty years ago.

If I didn’t want gifts meant for my family to be touched by the vultures, my benefactors could have put them into some charitable trust meant for the benefit of my children and made my mother trustee.

If I find the restitution payments are too steep, the bankruptcy courts work wonders.

I am a hotel manager and writer, and I came up with these means of avoiding all of this nonsense. This man has a law degree and comes from a politically connected family whose supporters can afford to get him a great job, new house and new life days after his release from jail. Trust me; if he were trying to hide assets and put one over on the court, he had the means to do it.

I think the guy decided to start over, do it as right as he could, and take advantage of his blessings. Again, if he wanted to hide or shaft the system, the people around him knew how to do it.

This is personal as hell.

Detroit has never had any corrupt politicians, police officers and the like in its history. It has never suffered from any type of financial management. That is why their economy is booming, their school system is tops in the nation and its City Council president is a shining example of financial responsibility. Its downtown reminds one of Manhattan, without the winos. I can see why the city would fall like a wall on Kwame Kilpatrick, bad boy that he was.

So because he was the only one, because he sullied the fair city’s name, because he is a lousy example of bill paying, Detroit will flex its muscles, make this man’s family suffer (but not for long), possibly anger his congresswoman mother into retirement (thus allowing her to tap her campaign fund to pay this debt once and for all) and giving her district a freshman with no juice, well, they showed him.

Oh. By the way, I wonder how much it is going to cost to incarcerate this fool? Is he going to work off his debt in license plates?

Yeah. Detroit does set the example for how to get things done. If only Chicago could get her act together and be more like her big brother to the north.

Ya’ll sure ya’ll a big city up there?