The Game

“Jimbeyyyyyyyyyyy!”

“Dad, what’s up?”

“ I thought we had a deal. You clean your room, the living room, take out the garbage, I buy you some of that Baku-gaku stuff.”

“Bakugan, Daddy.”

“Whatever.”

“This is worthy of an butt beating.”

“I’ll call Children and Family Services…”

“You gotta make it to the phone.”

“I’ll call Ruqayyah…”

“Your future stepmother has no bearing here. We had a deal!”

“I tried, but I got bored.”

“Butt beating is imminent. Bored? So what? You know what? I’m not going to touch you. I’ll tell the school.”

“So?”

“Dude, I’m Catholic. Nuns will hurt you. Jim, there are bugs in here.”

“No, those are ants. Ants are industrious.”

‘They been industrious for millennia without help. What the devil?”

“It’s your fault. We eat in here and watch TV.”

“But my plate goes out with me. To the sink. We live in the country. Hello? Mice?

Offhanded wave. “Daddy, we have three dogs. They are super territorial. Mice don’t stand a chance.”

“You have to do better, son. I am trying to not raise my vice. My father would have had a fit.”

“Granddad? Piece of cake. I watch the ballgame with him and he is fine. By the way, he said mice are OK. The owls get them eventually.”

“Jim, clean your doggone room…”

“OK, ok…Big guy, calm down.”

“Your familiarity is gonna get your butt beat.."

"You know...I do good in school..."

"You want a reward for that?"

"Daddy...look...I got this..."

"Man...You are NOT President Obama. You got nothing."

"Well, cut me some slack..."

"You're nine...you're room..."

"I'll hit up your blog...

"What?"

"Tell them you are an insensitive dad..."

"Me? Insensitive to what?"

"The dolphins...Ruqayyah had the right idea there..."

"Whatever, boy, you got me. Clean your room. Writers are like politicians...down deep, guess we all for sale."

"Good call, Big Guy."

"Go get my belt."