Perhaps Facebook Has Run Its Course…

I am wondering about my connection to the social networking site, especially after an exchange with an old friend that left me feeling a bit awkward, though I cannot explain why. I don’t feel that I did anything wrong. Perhaps more vocal communication would have made a difference. Communicating with your thumbs over a social networking site just isn’t the way to address a misunderstanding.

I’m longing for the days when I ran into people on the Metra and if we felt like being bothered, we went through the whole, “Hey, isn’t that…how ya DOIN’?”

If we didn’t want to be bothered, we went back to reading our “Boondocks” compilation and called it a day.

I don’t know why I originally got on Facebook. I think I set up a profile about a year before I used it. When I logged on the second time, there were friend requests, mostly from people with whom I stayed in touch but did not have regular contact. These are folk from whom I received holiday cards and who were always emailed my updated address.

Then the requests came from people I lost touch with a few years back. It happens to all of us. Friends from high school, those early college days. Some of us moved. Some of us transferred. Some of us got arrested. Over achievers managed all three. The usual. Click “Accept”. Look at pictures of their kids. See if they impregnated/married that wombat they dated in school. Comment on how much weight they have gained. Conveniently ignore how much weight you’ve gained. Finally, type an insincere “OMG your kids are cute and you look great!” (For the record, I received way more of these than I gave out) and move on.

Along the way, join a group or two. These are the best types of groups. No dues, no meetings, no power struggles! If someone has started a “Prince Rogers Nelson is a Genius!” group, and you want to be in charge, no need for a social coup. Start your OWN “Prince Rogers Nelson is a GREAT Genius" group. Chicagoans can join groups with catchy titles like “I’m from the Southside of Chicago, So I’m Better than You…” or “Harold’s Chicken Lovers.” Harold’s has done fine using word of mouth for decades, but your group is probably good for increasing sales a half dark or two. With mild sauce.

I have made some wonderful friends on Facebook. I have to be honest, though: based on our personalities and how crazy attracts crazy, I would have met people like my East Coast Crew (Ry, Geoff and Kristen and Eboni) anyway. I have reconnected with college buddies with whom I shared a love of EPMD, Tom ‘n’ Jerry, and the occasional 40 oz (that’s my story, I’m sticking to it) regardless. Friends from grad school still have the same cel phone numbers. Being a short term Facebook junkie has reminded me that the good folk from my past are still in my Rolodex. Perhaps I should use it.

I have also remembered why I chose to forget certain years of my life. Not out of fear or denial. It was just counterproductive to revisit those times and relationships. Whoever I was during those periods was not the person I was before them and damn sure isn’t the guy I see when I am in the mirror shaving now. There’s stuff between 17-22 that I’d rather forget. I admit to both having been hurt and hurting people, to not always having been the best friend, brother or son, and to needing to grow up. Maturing that fellow made me the person that I am now, and I have no desire to revisit him. I can enjoy a good steak without watching a blow by blow of how it got to my table.

If Facebook has taught me anything, it is to be a better friend. Pick up the phone, make plans for lunch. Catch a show. When I am relying on cyberspace to maintain my friendships, I need to make a change. Friendships shouldn’t exist as the following:

“Hey, you on here too!”

“Yeah. Life is good. Bye.”

Next status update: JD is happy he’s refriending people…

Think I’m going back to the telephone.