A Family Lesson

There is an old saying that families spend way too much time at weddings and funerals, and not enough time in between.

We all have busy lives. Times are challenging enough where many of us are forced to be creative in how we bring home the bacon, and that leaves little time for simple pleasures, like family.

I attended the funeral of my grandfather’s youngest brother this morning. As I indicated to someone last week, he was the last of a generation of substance style and balance that makes a man of my generation go, “How?”

How did they have time to serve in the military, go to school, work two full time jobs and have families? How did they manage to have nights out with their friends, their wives and their kids? How did they manage money so much better, working with so much less than we have today? Finally, how did they maintain a sense of dignity when facing real, live discrimination?

Times are now much easier than in those days, yet my grandfather and his brothers managed to carve out lives in a harsh world, maintain their families, and do for others while still living their lives to the fullest. These may not have been perfect men. I am not one to romanticize; there are many ugly things that we in the present gloss over about the past in an attempt to find some correlation. I give credit where it is due, however. They had a sense of balance that was out of this world.

Still, to see, for my family, the end of an era, is tough. These men left rather large shoes to fill. Unlike some of my errant cousins, I would advise those of us who remain not to mimic our granddads and great- uncles in every way. They had their share of problems, too, and these seldom come out when a family is slow singin’ and flower bringin’. I would ask us all, however, to start living a little fuller. I do not think any of these men died saying, “ I wish I could have…” Can we say the same of ourselves?

Times are hard. Money is tight. Lord knows we got more stuff than we'll ever need and more than most of us will pay for. Let’s use these societal “misfortunes” as catalysts to renew familial relationships. Let’s spend more time together. Let’s make better use of the best things life has to offer. Family, friendship and the blessing of living the way we want to live. The car you drove, the money you had, the years you spent in school is of no consequence when the day and hour arrive. How you treated those who loved you and how much you made of the too short time you were given is all that will matter.

Weddings and funerals should be when we gather between spending time together, not the other way around.