Black Power, Hustle Style

I like history. I am especially fond of America’s involvement in “stopping communism” by promoting democracy in Black folks’ homeland. If there was ever a time when minorities on a global basis benefited from foreign policy, it was when the dollars were flowing in the 1950s and 60s from Washington into the hands of Black leaders who just decided to pay lip service to the US’ plans on halting the Red Menace. What a hustle.

Like so many tales of slave rebellions in the American South, it becomes obvious the undoing of so many of these nations was at the hands of their own. Congo, later Zaire, was a tale of politics, deception and desperation almost worthy of being written by Dumas. Its first African prime minister is killed by his brethren and succeeded by his boy, Joseph Mobutu, later known as Marshal Mobutu Sese Seko. Short of the Rumble in the Jungle, Zaire has produced little since. When Mobutu fled the country, some $8B US in aid funds was missing. Barely serviceable roads and poorly equipped hospitals, but Mobutu’s summer palace in had solid gold fixtures in the bathroom and a wine cellar stocked with super expensive champagne the good marshal had to have for breakfast. Geez.

Haiti has an even more interesting story. A country doctor wins a democratic election and names himself “President for Life”. He practices affirmative action by allowing women to hold positions of power in his dreaded secret police, the Tonton Macoutes. The US, always in favor of a good secret police force, continues to send the good doctor, now affectionately known as Papa Doc, all the loot he and his minions can handle. Imagine a Frank Lloyd Wright mansion in the middle of the worst housing project you could dream of. That was Haiti. When his son, the next president for life, fled, it was in a BMW 7 series headed for a chateau if France.

Idi Amin Dada was a testimony to what all burger flippers can aspire. Beginning as a cook in the British Army, this paratrooper who didn’t want to parachute from too high became yet another sterling example of what international funds and a love of uniforms can do for the dark continent. Amin did such a bang up job that several books and movies detailed parts of his life. Black Americans especially should be thankful to Amin, whose portrayal by Forrest Whitaker allowed the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences to continue to honor Black males with awards for portraying thugs and musicians. How original.

I won’t get into the photo of five Nigerian officers playing checkers in the 1960s. Four of them went on to become president. One was defense minister. All became filthy rich. How lucky was that camera?

These are some of the greatest instances of Black on Black crime and negligence on record. Africa is the most resource rich place on the planet, and many of her nations are ruled by selfish nut jobs that have as much respect for their own as the colonizers did. I want to write a primer for future dictators, so they can learn how to play a game and hopefully influence their brothers and sisters here in Obamaland. It goes as follows:

Europe and America will toss you some money. They just want your stuff. Buy the Bentley, but put in some roads, a telephone system. Some schools. A hospital probably wouldn’t hurt.

Please stop with the coups. It is an open secret that countries are happy to sell off used armaments you can’t use effectively for anything but taking over the president’s office. It gets old. Everyone’s laughing.

Public…executions…are…bad.

Finally, if you need a real lesson on how to simultaneously steal and govern effectively, come to Chicago. Indictments keep turnover pretty steadyhere.